Don't Act Offstage
by ChukFolchart
Summary: Kurt can't figure out why he can't stay away from Rachel.  Sam has a secret Rachel might have caught on to, but Kurt may get the effects of. Quinn is getting fed up missing Sam. Rachel/Kurt/Sam/Quinn cannon couples & friends. Warning- I'm a lil crazy. :
1. Chapter 1

**Let's see how long it takes me to write THIS. Especially since I have no idea where I'm going with it, and I'm not QUITE sure which couples I want as endgame. But keep in mind readers- that's usually when I come up with my best twists. ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Glee. Which means I don't. **

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><p>Kurt knew he and Rachel were supposed to be good friends now. It didn't change the fact that whenever he was in her presence too long, she'd manage to put her foot in her mouth someway, somehow.<p>

He hadn't told Blaine about his fleeting crush on Sam- of course he hadn't. That would have been stupid. So when Blaine ran into Kurt and Santana at Breadstix, and heard that Santana was having relationship troubles (sans mentioning Brittany's name), and Blaine decided they should all go on a double date, (mentioning Sam) it wasn't that naïve. Blaine thought Kurt would want to observe the relationship live time, or something.

Rachel, on the other hand, had heard about Kurt's original misconceptions when Sam had joined. In fact, those misconceptions had spread through the entire Glee club before the blonde had confused them by showing up to the Duet Competition with Quinn as his partner. So Rachel should have known better than to ramble on about how good Sam and Quinn had been together, and how Santana was obviously just using Sam, and she wasn't sure he wasn't using her as well, and brainless things like that when she came over to help him get dressed before the date.

_Who _had let her in his house again? Probably his dad. Burt did his best to keep his nose out of the topic of romance, and probably still had yet to realize Finn and Rachel were over.

"It's really sad, anyway, you know?" Rachel murmured. "To be as confident as Sam is, you'd think he would have already come out. But of course, being with Santana can't help that. She'd dump him for it, hypocritical or not…"

"Oh god, would you _shut up_?" Kurt couldn't help growling, as he tried on his third jacket and looked at himself in the mirror. He didn't want to be mean, but she had just crossed a line, and he was getting a migraine. "Sam's not gay, Rachel. That has been established."

Rachel looked at him like he'd just told her green wasn't blue. "I'm not an idiot, Kurt. I know that."

"Then what was that comment of yours, about him coming out? Was it really as ignorant homophobe as it sounded?"

"Sam's bi," she said, condescendingly. Like it was common knowledge.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Must I really have this argument? With _you_?"

"Bisexuality is a legitimate way of being. Wait- is that why you were so resistant when Blaine was curious? I mean, besides the whole, jealousy thing."

"Nope, that was jealousy all the way," Kurt muttered, not even caring enough to defend himself as he checked his hair in the mirror. "No offense, but you have to admit it, Berry, you make a go at pretty much every guy I like."

"I haven't flirted with Sam."

"He doesn't count. That was mild attraction- it was over by the end of the week when I found out he was straight."

"But he's bi."

Kurt turned to glare at her, exasperated. "You know what, has he told you this himself?"

"No. I told you, he hasn't come out."

"Then you can't prove your deranged theory, and I choose to believe evidence. Now, either you take your chance to screw up my outfit like you told me was your reason for coming, or I'm leaving to go pick up Blaine."

The girl pursed her lips, then she paced pointedly to his closet with a defiant expression. She came back out and held up a black and baby-blue jacket he'd forgotten he had. He didn't want to know what disarray she had to have left in his closet to actually find it, but he tried it on without complaint.

"Okay I'll admit... That's not that bad," he murmured, looking himself over a bit more pleasurably this time in the mirror.

Rachel smiled, flipping her hair back behind her shoulders. "Your eyes are blue today, so it matches without having to go with the rest of your outfit."

Quinn grimaced, as she forced herself to button up the jeans. Yeah, they were still too tight. But she was getting closer to her former self every day, even without the Cheerios for grueling exercise.

It's not like these were the skinniest jeans she had had before the pregnancy. She'd already resigned herself never to be _that _again. Besides, according to most doctors, she'd been underweight for the brief period those pants had been even remotely zippable.

Once she'd put the Goal Jeans away and had put on one of her baby doll dresses, she felt much more comfortable. This particular one she hadn't worn since she _was _pregnant. Why was it so many good memories come from then anyway? She remembered her sleepovers with Mercedes and Kurt, the way Puck's hand had felt in hers…

Not that she missed that part. Not at all. Or not much.

Well, even if she did still have feelings for Puck, she knew it wasn't that big of a thing to deal with. It wasn't like she'd spent years getting over him before Sam had appeared- more like a summer. And after all they'd shared, she could be at least a little comfortable saying she missed him. It wasn't enough for her to go back to him, but she missed him.

She also missed Sam. _That _she had a much easier time accepting. Sam was her most recent ex, and she still missed him like crazy. When they'd been together, she'd felt so much different about her life. With Finn, she was sure she'd be successful, but she'd never get out of Lima. With Sam, she'd seen following him to a large city where he'd have gotten a football scholarship, and chasing random career options for herself, enjoying all of the choices she had for as long as she could make it. With Finn, she found every other look at Rachel disturbing. With Sam, no matter how the girls he talked to looked at _him_, he'd always only looked that way at _her _and she hadn't been worried about anything. With Finn, the most romantic thing she could remember him doing for her was singing that song about her "having his baby" to her parents. With Sam, she still felt her stomach turn when she thought of how he would suddenly appear behind her and mumble "_Lor Menari_," in her ear. When she'd hugged Finn, it was for comfort. When she'd hugged Sam, it was because she felt like it.

Screw Finn. Screw Puck. _Sam _was her first love.

When Sam had first left her, she'd been devastated, and more than anything, she'd been ready to win him back. She'd still seen it in his eyes, after all- he loved her back. She'd gone over multiple scenarios of trying to woo him in her mind, from performing _Baby _herself (though she hadn't the voice for it) to leaving little love notes in his locker, talking to him as much as possible (apologizing as often as she could get away with it) and continuing to wear his ring till he told her to take it off.

But then, she was too blinded by her fury every time she caught Santana curled up on Sam's lap in Glee club to plan anything properly. By the time she could have actually worked something out, she'd been hit with an insane "reality" of her breakup, when Azimio shoved her against her locker. She was no longer a HBIC Cheerio, and had no football playing boyfriend to protect her. She was no longer anything but a Glee Loser. So she was a little pretty- that didn't mean a thing without that uniform drawing eyes away from their own girlfriends. Not one jock would look her in the eyes before they chucked a slushie in her face. And since Kurt had transferred and Mercedes was in a loner-like depression, she had no friends to talk to even _in _Glee Club.

And there had been Finn. Weak and burnt out by his fights with Rachel, plus the desire everyone had seen him fighting for weeks to get back with her, Quinn had decided to approach him. After all, he'd been the reason Sam had broken up with her in the first place. It didn't take much, with the tired, puppy-dog desperate way she'd found him, to make him forget she'd chosen Sam over him.

Quinn felt bad for using him, because she _would_ always care about him to a degree, but if she hadn't came in when she had, he would have given in the next time Rachel made a move. So this was certainly better than Rachel just getting her way again, right?

….Okay, she'd admit it. She was a bitch.

Sam shook his hair out of his face. He shouldn't have styled it the Beiber way again, but Santana had always seemed to like it.

He, Santana, Kurt Hummel, and Blaine Anderson, were all standing in the park, trying to stop the atmosphere from getting too awkward. Kurt and Santana were chatting. He nodded vaguely at Blaine when they made eye contact, and Blaine returned it, but otherwise, they didn't interact at all. He wasn't sure how the idea for this double date had come to be, but it had quickly become a triple date when he and Santana had gotten out of his car, and Santana had announced that Brittany and Artie would be coming to meet them, waving her phone in the air to communicate that she'd gotten this update via text on the way over.

They were going to a bowling alley or something. He smirked. He could bowl or something pretty well.

He wished Santana would let him put voice to his jokes, as bad as they sometimes were. He wondered why she was suddenly so close to Kurt anyway. Back when he'd been on New Directions, Sam couldn't remember them speaking to each other, besides maybe an indignant reaction to a gay joke she'd make.

When Brittany and Artie arrived, he ignored the hug Brittany and Santana shared in favor of going to help Blaine get Artie's chair out the back of the truck, because he really didn't want to see it. There was just something about those two together that made him uncomfortable. Like there was something he was missing.

Hopefully this would be more fun then he thought. His eyes drifted to Blaine whispering something into Kurt's ear. The taller boy giggled. Sam frowned a bit. He may have seemed like an overprotective older brother, but he certainly didn't like Blaine. He'd have to keep his eye on the Dalton kid.

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><p><strong>Okay, I think I got this one- and I think I had about, forty ideas for chapter two while writing it. XD Anyway, I'm not the biggest Quinn fan, so if she seems OOC, I apologize. Please review. I like reviews. They make me happy. And when I'm happy, the main characters stay alive. : )<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I swear, if it hadn't been for school taking up so much of my time, I would have gotten back to this story LONG ago. I know a lot of this no longer relates to the current show, considering Kurt's back at Mckinley, Fuinn broke up, Bartie broke up, and Finchel got back together but, ah well, I can't go back and change it now without putting too much effort into this for me to find it entertaining.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Glee, I'd have no point in writing this fan fiction. **

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><p>Quinn smiled blankly at Finn, twining her fingers with his as they entered the bowling alley. She had no idea where this idea had come from, but he seemed excited about it, and there really wasn't much hope she'd get excited herself for a date in the first place.<p>

"You said Kurt would be here?" Quinn asked innocently. She did kind of want to see the countertenor herself. She hadn't spoken to him in so long she was almost embarrassed.

"Oh, yeah, didn't I already explain this to you?" Finn said, eyes focused somewhere else. "Yeah… Kurt said he had a group date thing scheduled today so Burt had to push the Friday night dinner forward a couple hours. He said I could come if I brought you…"

"He was probably trying to be polite, Finn," Quinn sighed. She could almost hear the unwelcoming tone Kurt had probably used giving such an invitation to his _step_ _brother _for a group _date _where his _boyfriend _would most likely be present.

Finn smiled with half his mouth. "Yeah, sorta guessed that. I still haven't had a chance to screen the Boyfriend, though."

Quinn sighed, but let it slide. She wondered if Finn really doubted Blaine's feelings, if he just wanted to _seem _like the overprotective older brother, or if he just wanted to bowl.

"Oh, Finn, you decided to show up!" Kurt's voice was less than thrilled as he took in their arrival. Quinn glanced the group- Blaine, Kurt, Brittany, Artie, Santana… and Sam.

She kept her eyes on the plain, striped pattern on Finn's polo.

"Yeah, thought it sounded like a good time," Finn said. He held out a hand to Blaine, and shook the somewhat surprised boy's hand just a bit too roughly.

"Nice to see you again Blaine." Quinn almost laughed. Maybe Finn _was _the overprotective type after all.

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><p>The game started out normally- they'd divided into teams, Kurt, Sam, Brittany, and Finn against Quinn, Blaine, Artie, and Santana. Sam thought it was kind of funny that no one even tried to be on the same team as their boyfriend or girlfriend. He just felt pretty lucky he hadn't been put on the same team as Quinn. It was awkward enough being on the same group date.<p>

Artie was having difficulties, mostly because of his chair. Finn didn't have the coordination to do any better. Sam and Blaine were pretty average, but Sam tripped up just a _tiny _bit more because he was trying so hard to do more than Blaine. Kurt, Brittany, Quinn, and Santana were actually turning out to be the stars of the game, leaving the teams pretty equal on talent.

"You know, I kinda wish you'd suck," Sam murmured to Kurt. They were sitting in order of turns, and he went right after the countertenor.

"Why? We're on the same team."

"Yeah, but I look like an idiot trying to play after you."

Kurt smiled a bit, rather than laughing like Sam had been aiming for. Blaine seemed to be the only one in the group he was willing to drop a giggle for. It was incredibly nerve wracking.

Santana flicked her cell out and back in expert time. Quinn had caught both Brittany and Kurt taking out theirs as well, but not nearly as often, so she couldn't tell if the Latina was texting either of them.

"Head in the game, Lopez," Quinn said, a bit sharply. "It's your turn."

Santana rolled her eyes, got up, and easily earned a strike.

She made her way to the back of the line, making sure her foot touched Quinn's as she walked, checking her cell phone again ostentatiously. Quinn's eyes narrowed just a little, but she got up, and got her own strike, then sat down on the other side of the Latina without a second glance.

She was still pretty sure she caught Santana's smirk.

They played three games, and the team Brittany and Kurt led was winning, 2-1. They all went to get snacks, agreeing that they'd continue to play, one or two more games. First team to get their third win would take it for the day.

"Want a potato wedge Kurt?" Blaine tried, for maybe the fourth time. The boy had been eyeing the large basket the rest of the group had been picking at. Everyone had returned to their partners with the break from the game, some more willingly than others. Quinn was leaned against Finn, Blaine was sitting a bit closer than most would deem normal to Kurt, Santana was in her favorite place as of late (Sam's lap) and Brittany was sharing a smoothie with Artie, the pair managing to give each other lovesick glances when they were sitting _right next to each other. _

Artittany were the only ones that felt any need for privacy or personal space. Considering how close the other couples were to each other, you'd think the blonde girl and her wheelchair laden boyfriend had nothing to do with the other teenagers.

As soon as Blaine offered, Kurt switched his gaze to the Diet Coke he was drinking.

"No, no thanks, Blaine. You know I don't eat starches."

"Don't listen to him Blaine," Finn said easily, seeming amused. "He wants one."

"I most certainly do not," the boy huffed, blushing slightly. "Those things are heart disease covered in eventual-obesity."

"Yeah. And they're also _fried_, and sprinkled with _bacon_, and covered in _cheese,_" Sam exaggerated the words, raising his eyebrows at the boy, who gave him a sour look in response. He grabbed a wedge, determined, and waved it in the air. "Come on- we all know you want one Kurt."

Kurt continued to glare at him, exasperated. "You are a _vile _human being."

"No, just determined. So you are _going _to eat this," making his point, he leaned back, ignoring the clinging Santana and sticking it near the countertenor's unwilling mouth. "Whether someone has to hold your skinny and paranoid butt still or not, you're _going _to eat this."

"QUIT IT!" the boy snickered a bit, trying to keep his composure- and he wasn't quite sure why it was so difficult, when Sam was trying to force feed him greasy trash.

Everyone was amused, sans Blaine, that Sam in fact would not stop, until the boy finally resigned himself to taking a few potatoes for himself.

"But I will NOT," he snatched the deep fried nuisance from the blonde, "eat it from your hand. I have more dignity than that at least."

Sam smirked, satisfied, and returned his attention at least partially to Santana. He was almost as proud to have worn the boy into eating it as he was to have enticed that snicker from earlier. It wasn't a real laugh, but it was proofed the boy could be cracked.

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><p><strong>Sooooo…. Likey? I don't know where the Pezbray moment came from, but it just sort of… happened. I multiship like a beast, so the original RachelKurt/Sam/Quinn thing will be stuck to, but might not have all the endgame couples- especially if Kurt/Sam does end up together, cause then I'll have Quinn and Rachel all free and lonely. :D Review PLEASE! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay… Let's see… it hasn't been too long since last time on this one right? Right? Sigh. I guess I'm doomed to always being incredibly slow. **

**Disclaimer: I own Glee. HA. No. No seriously, I don't. I don't own Glee. RIB do I'm pretty sure. If I owned Glee, I'd make money off of this. And I don't. In fact, considering I'm just feeding the obsession, I'm probably making the OWNERS money.**

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><p>"I see… and <em>what <em>exactly were you doing in the boys' locker room Brit?" Kurt asked, keeping pace with his blonde friend as they walked through Lima's one mall. It had a surprising number of good stores, to be as frumpy as it was overall.

"It's where the guys are," Brittany said blankly, obviously not comprehending his meaning. Kurt tried not to think about what she'd have to do to become a well accepted regular in there.

"Whatever," he said, shaking it off and heading for the changing room.

"But weren't you listening?" the blonde piped, tailing him and bit too closely out of what Kurt could only assume to be a habit. Brit was used to getting her way with guys, and he figured she had her techniques.

"Not really. You mentioned a certain meat head and I zoned out."

"His name is Dave, I think…"

"Yes, that one, though I'll stick with Karofsky." Brittany seriously looked like she was going to try and protest that for a second, but she leaned against a wall outside the changing area and kept quiet. The look on her face was very straight… and very 'Okay, if you're not going to listen I'm not going to talk'.

He sighed, deciding it wouldn't be best to deal with trying his clothes on first and risk hurting her feelings. He folded the neat shirt over his arm, trying not to think of how he probably wouldn't have looked twice at the thing if Rachel hadn't showed him how good he looked in the color.

"What about him, Brittany?"

Her eyes seemed to size up how well he could keep his mouth shut and listen, and then she said, "I was thinking he should join Glee Club."

It was the most straightforward thing she'd ever said to him. And yet he'd never had a harder time making sense of anything she'd said before.

"You're not serious." it wasn't even a question- he said it in a clipped tone, then turned and entered the changing room.

"I heard him sing in the boys' locker room, Kurt!" Brittany continued, yelling into the booth.. "He sounded like- like the Fru Fru Dolls!"

"I think you're going for Goo Goo Dolls there."

"Yeah, them! They did my favorite song, and he sounded just like them! He's almost as good as Rachel or me, except he's a guy!"

That was a little disconcerting. Brittany hadn't even come close to saying someone was near her talent level since her infamous Britney-Epiphany, so Karofsky had to at the very least be good. But that wasn't enough to make his tone interested or enthusiastic.

"Well, I guess it's not really my problem now is it, Brit? Because he threatened to _kill me _and I _transferred_, I guess you and the New Directions can welcome him with open arms, despite what I think."

"They aren't…" Brittany mumbled. "No one believes me… no one ever believes me…"

Ugh. That was the hard part about getting mad at people like Brittany. It was so easy to feel bad about it.

"I don't think it's that nobody believes you… I think it's that none of them would let him join the Glee Club if he had _Darren Criss's _voice."

"Who's Darren Criss?"

"Darren Criss. A Very Potter Musical…. Ugh, never mind, you wouldn't know. If he had the best voice in Lima, I don't think the New Directions would accept Karofsky, Brit."

"No… I think Mr. Schuester might… and Rachel would, since it would help the team."

Kurt hung one size of the shirt on the rack on the wall, gritting his teeth a bit. Rachel _would_. She thought guys with a baritone voice were God or something. Would Karofsky be a baritone? He tried to analyze the jocks speaking voice from his memory, before he remembered he didn't care.

But the thought of Brit and Mr. Schuester being Karofsky's support system in some big "rehabilitate the bully with talent" thing… and Rachel…

Of course, she wouldn't really care as long as he had enough talent to keep up with her own damn voice.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He really needed to get a grip. The girl was shaking his focus even when he went shopping now. _Without _her.

"I'm sure Mr. Schue and… Rachel would. But no one else, Brit. Even Santana would care, as I'm sure you'd know. Why would they want him in there just to screw up the atmosphere?"

"He hasn't done anything since you left… I think he's upset about it. I don't think he even talks to Azimio anymore. And we've had him in the club before."

"_What?_"

"Back on the championship football game? When Coach Beiste and Mr. Schue made all the football players join Glee Club?"

Oh right. He remembered Rachel and Mercedes saying something like that. He couldn't quite remember seeing his bully as a part of that Thriller number….

"Yeah… even with all those football players and him, we got over the tense atmosphere in a week or two, and then it just _worked. _Like when Lord Tubbington learned to use my remote control."

"If he was so good then, why didn't Mr. Schue rally him then and there?"

"Well, he hadn't been singled out… no one heard his voice solo, so they didn't know. But even then, I think Mr. Schue noticed. And Dave was so nice once he got into things… he and Finn were acting like buddies…"

Knowing his step brother had bonded with his bully would have bothered him more if he didn't know just how many times Finn had come close to fighting the boy for him. He knew Finn would have to honestly believe the boy was redeeming himself to even keep a friendly tone with him. That didn't mean Kurt had to like the thought, but he wasn't going to get mad.

"Can we talk about something other than Karofsky, please, Brittany? It really is none of my concern. I'm not on the New Directions anymore."

Brit frowned, drawing circles on the wall with her index finger. She liked being focused on something, no matter what it was, because feeling focused made her feel smarter. She didn't want to change the subject. Her eyes focused on something in the distance- and she glanced swiftly back at the changing room to wager whether Kurt would be getting out anytime soon.

When Kurt left the dressing room, clothes folded over his arm with an apologetic look on his face, Brittany was nowhere to be seen. He had a vague sense of unease with the knowledge- it almost felt like he'd lost track of a child. Knowing how ridiculous that was, though, he shook the feeling off, getting his things together, deciding not to buy anything, and flipping his phone out to text the blonde nuisance.

"Kurt! _Kurt!_" The yell was so urgent Kurt jumped out of his skin, thinking there was some sort of emergency Carole had come to find him for. But it wasn't Carole- her voice was just the only one he'd ever heard use that tone with him before. Rachel skidded to a stop a step from him, grinning widely. He tried not to feel uncomfortable about that, reminding himself she probably wasn't the type to run into friends at the mall often, and didn't know quite how embarrassing her little show was. The man she had linked fingers with, a man who was towering above her with dark, shaggy black hair that looked incredibly soft, seemed to know this quite well, but instead of chastising her for it, he gave him a somewhat sheepish "Couldn't-have-stopped-her" look.

Was this one of her fathers? He didn't look much like her.

"Rachel," he said, taking care to keep his voice even and calm in the presence of the man towering beside her. "Nice to see you here. Looking for anything in particular?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, no just looking." He didn't like the feeling in his stomach when she continued to grin at him like that. It wasn't like the uneasy feeling when he'd lost Brittany, but it would probably be described the same way without that direct comparison. "This is my Papa, Hiram Berry. Papa, this is Kurt Hummel."

Hiram smiled at his daughter in a way that suggested he didn't care, but wouldn't be hurt to pretend like he did for her.

"Yes, yes, the soprano that transferred," he said, with only polite-enough, engagement in his voice. "You wouldn't happen to be related to Burt Hummel, would you?"

"He's my father," Kurt said, brushing his hair from his eyes. It was almost a defensive maneuver. _The soprano that transferred. _Like he fit some widely known regularity.

"Yeah… we get the car worked on at his place. Nice guy."

"UGH Hiram! Do you HAVE to let Sugar drag you like that- the two of you are too fast for me." the man who ran up behind the Berry pair was a little shorter than Hiram, carrying what looked to be all of their bags, and had evenly long but more neatly combed hair. The color was dark brown, but Kurt really couldn't say this man looked any more like the short girl now stationed between them. Less than Hiram, even. Kurt figured Rachel had just come out looking exactly like Shelby.

"Leroy, this is Rach's friend Kurt."

Leroy blinked at him than smiled brightly. "Yeah, yeah- Sugar's told us all about you, Kurt. Hey- are you here _alone?_" his smile faltered a bit as he came to this conclusion.

"Well… I was here with my friend but…" Kurt gave his phone a hard glance like it would spontaneously save him from the Berry's looks of concern.

"A pretty boy like you, alone in a mall like this? That's not _safe_. You should come with us!"

"_Daddy_," Rachel groaned. So Leroy was the embarrassing parent.

"Umm… no, really, I'm okay…"

"Oh, come on, Kurtsie, we won't be here long, just tag along until we're done," Leroy dropped three or four of the many bags he was holding into Kurt's surprised arms, and then grasped his other hand shamelessly, obviously finding himself well within his rights to do so. Kurt tried to protest, but now that he didn't have to carry everything, Leroy took off at such a speed it was almost hypocritical, what with his complaints earlier.

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><p><strong>Yeah… I think I had an okay time with this. But yeah, I'll explain where Brittany went next chapter. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm almost too happy to be updating this to be embarrassed at how long ago my last update was. Almost. But then I'd also have to say I wasn't sorry for not updating the Golden Warrior first, as it is my most popular and asked for story. To be right-brained, you'd think I'd be less rigid with the order I do things in. (On a brighter note there, Golden Warrior **_**will **_**be next.)**

**Disclaimer: GLEE COMES BACK TUESDAY!…. And as I didn't know that till yesterday, I obviously don't own the show or the characters. **

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><p>"Ohmigod ohmigod, <em>Hiram<em>!" Leroy hopped up and down, way too hyper, while Kurt tried to keep himself as far from the man he had unwillingly twined fingers with as humanly possible. A difficult task. He licked at the half melted ice-cream in his free hand, trying to be polite and at the same time keep as much of the deathly concoction the Berrys had bought him out of his system as possible.

On his other side stood Rachel, who had given up the hard glares that earlier had guilted him into eating half of it in a few bites. She no longer seemed embarrassed by her "daddy", as Kurt now expected nothing more from the man. In fact, she'd taken care to point out to Kurt, in a loud voice, things in windows that he wouldn't care for, but that Leroy would hear about and have complete fits on, just to watch Kurt's exasperated looks.

"Yes, honey?" Hiram seemed very bored, and very unconcerned with his partner's antics.

Rather than waste inexpressive words to describe what on Earth had him so excited, he let go of Kurt's hand, (the countertenor stretched his numb fingers with a grimace) and gripped Hiram's arm to drag him into the store. Rachel finished her ice-cream, not even having to watch to effortlessly pull her hand free from her "papa" right as he was stolen from her side.

"I seriously mean no offense, Rachel," Kurt sighed, readjusting the bag of ugly jackets her dads had insisted on buying him in his grip. "But I don't understand how you can take _that _on a daily basis."

Rachel shrugged, and he noticed she'd taken her phone out at some nonexistent point where he hadn't been looking. She dropped the phone into one of her shopping bags, and took off randomly down the line of stores, linking arms with him as she went so he found himself being dragged once again, even if she was a little more gentle about it. He wondered if the Berrys were the kind of people that maintained contact so they couldn't be separated, or something like that.

"Shouldn't we wait for-?"

"They won't be out for a while," she said purposefully. "So I texted them. I could tell you were getting annoyed with them, too."

He waited to be sure she was done talking, and continued, "I see. So where are you taking me?"

"I don't know," she blinked innocently at him. "I thought we would just shop some more. Or were you annoyed with me too?"

"Surprisingly, no," he admitted, looking away from her eyes as soon as she started that stupid pout. Dangit, it was like she had him on a leash. He hadn't made one decision on his own since Brittany had ditched and the Berrys had claimed him. He knew most people would have made an excuse to leave by now, but he told himself he didn't because he wasn't very motivated to do anything else, and his brother was undoubtedly making out with Quinn in the room he and Finn shared right now. Not because he really enjoyed spending this much quality time with Rachel, or because he was curious to get to know her family, not at all… even though he was quite obviously ignoring the option of making a quick date with the very free Blaine via cell to be dragged through store after store with his brunette friend.

He could have also, he realized, as they stood in line for more hazardous food, explained Brittany's disappearance and worked to find the blonde to join their party. He chewed on this thought as Rachel looked over the menu.

"I want a… Nacho Supreme, and a… Coke Float and…what would you like Kurt?"

He twitched, trying not to look at the revolving commercial giant pretzel. "Diet Coke."

"Got it," she hopped to the counter, at which point he noticed she had twined her fingers with his, much like Leroy had earlier, with nearly as tight a grip. "A large Nacho Supreme, Two Coke Floats using _Diet _Coke, and one large salted pretzel."

He bit his lip to hold back a smile. She missed _nothing. _

"Hey, didn't you say you came here with someone?" Rachel said, eyebrows furrowing unpleasantly as this thought processed with her, perhaps for the first time. They walked out of the way of the counter as they waited for their food to be done. "Should we try to find them?"

"Huh? Ah… nah. It was just Brit. She probably spotted Santana and forgot I was there," he leaned against a wall, rubbing the back of his neck. At some point, from thinking about Brittany, Rachel reading his mind to order their food, and noticing how tightly she was holding his hand, he'd decided he was _not _going to try and find Brittany… and not really knowing why was bothering him more.

"So… how is Finn?" Rachel asked airily, tapping her foot on the ground.

Annoyance. Couldn't she just get _over _Finn already?

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><p>"Hey Lady Lips," Puck threw a remote at Sam's head. "You gonna play or you just gonna sit there?"<p>

The blonde rubbed his forehead, remanning the forgotten controller in his lap. "Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Just tired."

Finn paused the game, eliciting an aggravated groan from Puckerman and a surprised look from Sam.

"You okay, man? You've been out of it since you showed up," Finn ignored his best friend's complaints to worry about his underclassman/rival. Sam frowned. He'd clued into Finn's paternal side back at the bowling alley when he'd roasted Blaine, but he wondered why he was seeing it so much more often now.

"Yeah, dude. I just said I was tired, didn't I?"

"That's like, the number one excuse to get out of telling people what's really going on," Finn pointed out.

"True and it's also the kind of response someone gives when they actually _are _tired," the boy said looking away.

"Yeah, Finn," Puck rolled his eyes. "And you know what else it means? It means, butt the hell out and restart the game."

"Later, man," Finn gave Puck a hard glare, annoyed with the boys seeming ambivalence toward there friend. The two started bickering and Sam rubbed his eyes.

Yeah, he wasn't lying about being tired. But did Puck have to be shirtless _every _time there were no adults or girls present? It was driving him insane. The worse part was, it seemed Puck _knew _it bothered him, and exactly _why _it was bothering him. He was ninety percent positive by now that he and Puck had the same problem, except Puck was in much better control and acceptance of it. He was sure if he just randomly asked Puck if he was bisexual, be it in public or in private, the boy would make some retarded remark about how the "sex shark attacks anything that lives". Which was also why there was nearly a forty percent chance (accounting for how Puck really couldn't care less about other people's feelings) that Puck was only riding Finn so hard to get the game back going so Sam wouldn't have to explain his discomfort.

It wasn't like he was really that in the closet though… sure, asked straight out if he was gay, he'd say no, but that was true. He was bisexual, and he tended to like girls more, so he really found no reason to clarify that in the same breath. But Puck, _Puck _apparently had to be one of those few exceptions that really got under his skin and drove him insane, if mostly when he insisted on having his shirt off.

It also sort of freaked him out… he'd never been with a guy before, (due to only rarely having any desire to, and never for any that would want that back) so if Puck really was bothering him about this on purpose, he had no clue what that would mean. Added together, there was a small chance, regardless of how small it seemed, that Puck was trying to _seduce him_. And he was too prideful to end up another slut in Puck's bed. He'd always thought if he did end up with a guy, it would be one that was, you know… on the cuter side, softer. One he could woo the same way he would a girl. Maybe one like Kurt… not that he was going to let himself think about _that _again. Ugh.

"Hey," Puck threw something else at him that this time he couldn't identify. "If you don't start _paying attention _Finn's never going to let me play in peace."

Without thinking about it, he glanced over at Puck… to find Finn had left the room for something while he was in his abstraction, and Puck's expression and stance, everything had gone from irritated to so ridiculously teasing, and undeniably _hot _that he could only look away, blushing.

"I'm gonna go get some air," he croaked, standing and heading for the door. Lord, if things kept up at thisrate, he was now _very _positive Puck would make a move. And damn it all, he was even _more _positive he'd give in.

He got a text. Quinn. Ugh, like he needed _those _feelings to mess with him right now too.

* * *

><p>This had been easier than Brittany had deemed possible. Of course, she was now hiding behind a rack of "sports socks" (she wondered what idiot could have thought socks that played sports would sell), and struggling to keep sight of his Lima football jacket, but that was just because one of his jock buddies was here. Upon first leaving Kurt and catching up to him, all she'd had to do was mention what she'd heard in the locker room, and he was all hers.<p>

Maybe if one of her plans actually worked out for once, people would stop calling her stupid. She smiled a bit. No one's plans ever worked out in the Glee Club. If she pulled this off, she'd become a sort of guru- even Santana would finally take her advice, maybe even ditch Sam and look for a girlfriend, regardless of whether that girlfriend could be Brittany or not.

She watched as her jock's friend walked away, then waited as he looked around a few times, and finally sauntered his way over to her as if he didn't know she was there.

"Okay, Blondie," Azimio growled, not seeming happy to be talking to a Glee Loser for any reason. Even his best friend. "_What _is it exactly you want me to do?"

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><p><strong>OMFG I AM IN THE ZONE! I think this may be my longest chapter yet, or maybe my favorite, or maybe I'm just ridiculously brain hyper right now which is why I'm typing like this with a creepily dead face right now. RATEREVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE pwwweeeease! : D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, just as I've given up on my one of my Multichapters (not this one) I have an idea for a sort of Death Note crossover… I may have to check to see if it's been done before I start though. :/ **

**Disclaimer: Glee is not mine. I. Seriously. Wish. (No, **_**seriously**_**) I also wish I got paid for this. But I don't. **

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><p>"So… umm… I guess we're welcoming a new member to the Glee Club…" Mr. Schuester began weakly.<p>

"Aww, _hell _to the naw!" Mercedes was already up and being held back by Finn and Sam.

"Get over it, Ladies," Azimio growled, dark. "I haven't slushied any of you for weeks, so don't act all high and mighty." He stood beside Schuester, looking no happier about this arrangement than she was.

"For-? You chucked a wild cherry in my face _yesterday_," Tina said loudly.

Azimio rolled his eyes, unimpressed.

"Don't worry about it guys, he's on his best behavior," Brittany smiled daintily, as if she knew something the rest of them didn't.

"Oh yeah, and it's so difficult for _him _to be better than he usually is," Rachel sighed. "Mr. Schue, does he even have the grades to _be _in here?"

"Now Rachel, that's not fair," Mr. Schuester said, with the voice of a completely robotic liar. "He wouldn't be on the football team if he didn't have the grades-"

"Oh, please, Mr. Schue, sports are irrelevant," Artie.

"Most of the Cheerios are flunking Spanish," Mike.

"This really doesn't seem like a good idea," Sam.

"Why is he even pretending he wants in?" Puck.

"Guys, calm down, I know none of us wants him here.. I mean…" Finn.

"This is asinine." Quinn.

"This place gets more and more retarded," Lauren.

"Even _I _have a bone to pick with this guy," Santana.

"_You _have a bone to pick with everybody. Mostly because you've already let them jump yours." Azimio.

Mercedes, Finn, Sam, Puck, and Brittany all have a hand in holding Santana back from whipping Azimio from the Choir Room to Lima Heights.

Five more minutes. The Choir Room has finally gone silent, and Brittany is sitting with Azimio in a lonely corner, gaining disbelieving or hateful glances every few seconds.

Mr. Schuester sighed. That had gone well.

* * *

><p>"I know you did it," Santana said blankly, appearing out of nowhere, behind her locker. Brittany flinched.<p>

"Uhmm… I'm sorry, okay? I didn't _mean_ to let my dad run over your eyeliner- Mr. Tubbington's been fighting with garden elves, and they keep stealing things from my room…"

"Not about makeup I lent you months ago," Santana rubbed the base of her hand against her forehead so as to keep her cool. "You're the reason Azimio decided to join Glee Club, and I want to know why. Now."

Brittany's eyes flashed a bit, then she shrugged. "Why does that matter to you?"

"Because I want to know."

A group of guys whistled at the girls in unison as they passed, hoping the tense atmosphere was going to be a catfight. Neither of them paid any attention.

"I don't have to talk to you about this," Brit snatched a book she thought resembled the color her next class made her think of, and started walking in the other direction.

Santana nearly roared. Instead, she said loudly, "Is it about Karofsky?"

Brittany started. She reapproached the Latina so fast it actually hurt when she slapped a hand over her mouth and shoved her around a locker.

"The _hell _Brit-?"

"How did you find out?" Brittany was so serious it almost creeped Santana out.

"It wasn't that difficult, Brit. You defending Adams like that was retarded. So what, you're going to go out with him to make me mad or something?" Santana hissed.

Brittany blinked. This idea had yet to occur to her. But of course, her friend was smarter than her, so she said, in quite the honestly inquiring voice, "How would making you mad at me get Dave in the Glee Club?"

Santana was horrified. So she wasn't trying to spite her with this ridiculous plan- she was trying to bring the guy closer to her.

"Brit, you don't need to do that. I can keep my men whipped without you sleeping with Azimio, alright? I don't need you to try and win me Glee Club time with him." though now her best friend sounded calmer, she made less sense.

"I- what?" Brittany frowned.

"Honey, you know me. He won't be going anywhere anytime soon-"

"I know you have Sam where you want him, Santana," Brittany seemed to be thinking quite hard. "And you certainly don't have to worry about me trying to help you stay with him, because I think you're Lebanese and you don't like it. But what does that have to do with Dave and Azimio?"

And for once, Santana found that her very, very blonde best friend had made her feel very, very stupid.

"Brit… I uh,… ended things with Sam…" Santana rubbed her upper arms. Darnit, if she hadn't just, _assumed _the news had made it around the school, this wouldn't be happening.

Brittany was suddenly very happy. "Oh, that's awesome Santana!" forgetting their topic completely, she went on about how proud she was and about how she was sorry she loved Artie, and about all the closeted Lebanians and Bicornesses there had to be hiding in the school.

Dave suddenly appeared right between their lockers and wrapped an arm around Santana's shoulders. "Hey, Babe," he pecked her on the cheek, and nodded at Brittany with surprising good-nature.

Brittany's expression was very blank. Then she walked away, because she wasn't going to betray her friend, by having this conversation right in front of the new Boyfriend.

Wasn't Dave a dolphin anyway, though? She twitched, then shook her head refusing to look back. She wasn't going to cry, either, because she had Artie and she had no reason to be upset.

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><p><strong>I like the way this one ended… though I really need to learn to write happy, don't I? : Well, it makes the story. Pleasseee review! Bye! Sayonara! Au revoir!**

**P.S. Sorry, I meant for there to be Sam/Quinn in this chapter, but it ended up revolving around Brittana and Azimio's entrance into the Glee Club. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Glee writing tiiiim~e! Yeah, I really haven't had time to update anything recently, so I've been even slower. Blame high school newspapers.**

**Disclaimer: I don't don't don't own Glee! There, I've said it. I don't get money off of this either. I've said that. Now that it's been said, may I begin?**

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><p>"<em>You know… you can kiss me if you want to…"<em>

"_I want to…_"

"Rachel?"

Rachel blinked, dazed, returning to the present. Sam was giving her a look that said she had taken so long to respond it couldn't have been healthy.

"D-daydreaming," she said sharply, messing with her science papers, trying to figure out where in the assignment she actually was.

"About Finn?" the blonde guessed, smiling a bit.

"N-no why would I… why would you think that?" she let her eyes wander to where he was in the room, flirting as he worked with Quinn.

Suddenly, she felt warm breath on her neck and jumped, to find Sam had moved right behind her.

"Because you keep looking at him when you zone out, maybe?"

She blushed. "There's something odd on that window, okay? I'm _over _Finn though. Really, I have been for a while. It's just…"

"Hard to stop remembering your first love, isn't it?" Sam's voice was just a little more distant this time. Rachel glanced at him to find his eyes were trained quite loosely on Quinn, and then were back on his work so fast she could have just as easily missed it.

"Yeah… it's like when it's happening for the first time… and you feel it…" Rachel drummed her fingers on the floor, thinking. She knew Sam was trustworthy, but she needed to figure out a simple way to put it so that his jock-brain would understand it.

Her partner twirled his pencil a bit, following the lines of their rubric with his fingers. "You have a million RomCom flashbacks and think 'this is it'. Even when you fight or break up, or when you find someone else or they find someone else, you sort of have it ingrained in you that you'll always come back to 'this'. Something like that, right?" it completely amazed Rachel that Sam could say all this while writing, and actually making progress on their assignment. He must know these words without thinking about them.

"Uh.. Yeah.. Guess that's just what I get for being a romantic," Rachel tucked her hair behind her ear, eyeing her companion before pretending to work on her things again. "So… things didn't work out with Santana?"

Sam smirked a little, seeming more amused than upset. "News travels that fast?"

"Not really… at least not to drama dwarfs like me. You're just not really the type to… dwell on old relationships when you're with someone, I guess?" Rachel frowned, somewhat worried about this assessment. She had a hard time reading pure people like him- people more focused on others than themselves.

"Ah, I see," Rachel blinked when Sam poked her in the nose with his pencil eraser. His smile was somewhat crooked. "Someone has me all figured out, doesn't she?"

"Not really," she grabbed the pencil pointedly and moved it away from her face. Prideful. "Just a few things. To be such a transparent goody-two shoes, you're actually very difficult to read."

"That's a laugh. Most people have me down who've met me once," Sam said.

"Well we never officially met, did we? In fact, being lab partners- this is probably the first time we've talked," Rachel challenged dully.

"Is it? Well then, my names Sam Evans, nice to meet you," he held a hand out to her, which she shook.

"Rachel Berry."

A few seconds. They both started laughing. It was completely ridiculous, and not really that funny, which is why it just seemed funnier. They kept laughing, and the more ridiculous their laughter seemed, the harder they laughed. Until the teacher came over and hushed them, and they found everyone was staring at them.

"Let go," Sam said in a pointedly loud whisper, once the teacher was gone.

Rachel didn't understand what he was talking about, until he jerked on the pencil, and she found they'd both been holding onto it. She released it quickly then, but Sam didn't seem uncomfortable, just amused. He still seemed near laughing.

"So, how's Glee going for you?" he said, crossing his legs lazily. This science project really was impossible to get done by the end of this class.

"Okay. I'm really in the mood to do some Rent stuff but… I don't know, no one's really seemed into it…"

"I'll do it!" he sat up, grinning. "I love that show- I'll help you approach Mr. Schue for it if you want."

"What are you doing, Finn?" Quinn sighed in exasperation. The two had quit their mindless, boring flirting a while ago for Quinn to find just how impossible it was for Finn to work on this assignment.

"I-I'm trying," Finn frowned. When they'd seriously gotten on this project a while ago, Quinn had decided everything he did was wrong, and it was unnerving him.

Giggles. Quinn's eyes snapped back up to where Sam and Rachel were working on the project. At first, she'd been sure they'd done nothing but glancing over to watch them flirt, which was fine with her because it meant Sam was possibly thinking about her. But now… when did these two become such good friends? They kept laughing like that…

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><p><strong>I have a feeling- that this chapter isn't my best work- that this chapter isn't my best work- but I have to cover it so BLEH. …. Sorry, semi-bad mood. Freaky crap on my mind. Review if you did like it please. <strong>


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